A tale of two houses

After our aborted attempt to view a house yesterday, we managed to see two today – despite the rain continuing to be against us.

We went into Operation Elsa shortly after lunch when she arrived with Marcia to take us to our first viewing. As ‘the two rich Englishman’, Elsa didn’t want us to have to pay a premium for being innocents abroad and had devised a cunning plan. This was that she would pose as Stephen’s wife while I was their simple-minded British friend. (I think Stephen added the simple-minded bit as an elegant variation.)

Thus it was we sat waiting outside the gates of the first house for the owner – who was behind schedule because her son was late home from school and she was just putting the dishes away when Elsa called to check. When she did arrive some ten minutes or so after the due time, which could actually be counted early by Italian standards, we had to make an umbrella dash from the car to the house, so had little chance to check the outside.

We were very pleasantly surprised by the inside, however, which was over three floors. The top floor has yet to be renovated but the other two are in good shape – maybe not entirely to our taste, but certainly more than livable. Marcia obviously felt right at home as, when I came down the stairs to the entrance area, she had decided to make use of the cloakroom facilities. I guess at five years old you can be forgiven – we just hope someone remembered to flush.

We have decided that this house is a definite possibility, but it does have a couple of drawbacks. One is that the kitchen and garage extension did not have planning permission, and the woman has to sort this out with the local council before she can sell it. The other is that, whilst it is situated in open countryside, it is low lying and doesn’t have a view to the mountains.

As for the second house, that in its own way too was something special. Again we had to wait for the owner, but this time because we were early. Unlike the first house, this is on the hillside and has a wonderful view across the valley and up to the Appenine Mountains as well as having a gloomy tableau of a washed out Snow White and a few satanic looking dwarves in the side garden. Also unlike the first house, nothing has been done to it for many years – it was like the house that time forgot.

You could sense how excited Stephen was by it, but more because he could see the whole interior featuring in some anti-chichi boutique hotel in Spitalfields, with its assorted arrangements of stuffed birds; 1960s wallpaper; dark, heavy furniture; black and white family photographs and strings of rosary beads. The man who showed us round was charming and assure Stephen, when we heard the pigs being fed just down the road, that you weren’t able to smell them – well, maybe sometimes, he said. It also transpired that he has some sort of museum in a nearby town, hence the old sewing machines and other paraphernalia in the garage.

This house, much as we hate to say it for it does have a real quirky appeal, is not for us. The reasons? No heating – fireplaces or central; no bath or shower, the x-factor of the pigs and too much renovation work needing an awful lot of money and an awful lot of time.

So after a week in Italy, we have one possible and one no go from two viewings. That’s what you get for being picky, I suppose.