Wish you were here

Don’t worry. It may be a fortnight since the last blog but you are not in for a mammoth two-week bumper issue, as this edition includes a brief hiatus for our holiday, or, as it is better known, Ian’s Birthday Part II – Let the Celebrations Continue.

The first step towards this end occurred on Tuesday (if you discount Stephen’s pre-emptive strike of packing my clothes the previous Sunday) when Douglas and Susan (who’ve featured on these pages before, being the only people brave enough to visit us) arrived to house sit and, more importantly, dog sit. It was because of their kind offer to come and look after Bella and Harry – and give Susan a chance of playing at being Italian – that Stephen and I could get away for our first holiday together in a hotel for several years. It almost didn’t happen, though, for when Douglas left their overnight Travelodge accommodation to catch the 6.30 flight from Stansted, he somehow managed to turn the wrong way onto the motorway. Under normal circumstances this should not have been too much of a problem, but rather than being able to come off at the next junction and turn back on themselves, they found that they were caught up in major roadworks and a substantial detour. Instead of the few minutes the journey should have taken them, it actually lasted almost an hour, with Susan – or so she claims – remaining calm throughout. They did, however, manage to check in and do a spot of shopping before boarding, which goes to show the benefit of allowing time for all contingencies, no matter how short your journey.

Though Douglas and Susan have been here twice before, Susan in particular was somewhat trepidatious about taking on full responsibility for our house and home, not to mention our Bella and Harry. That is one reason, apart from the excellent pizze, why we took them to I Beati Paoli on Wednesday night together with Marco and Maddalena so that they had a friendly face to turn to should anything unexpected happen. Moreover, as Maddi’s sister, Chiara, is the nurse at the vets we use then they had an almost direct line to emergency services should Bella decide to throw herself around the garden, as she is sometimes wont to do, resulting in minor injury. The following day Susan, with some support from Douglas, successfully completed her induction course and we knew, as we set off at 4am on Friday morning, that we’d left everything in safe hands.

I’m pleased to say that during our week away, while we lounged by the pool, strolled along Paphos promenade and tried out several rather fine eating establishments, Bella and Harry behaved in an exemplary fashion and there was no need to implement any of the contingency plans. Susan more than rose to the challenge, dealing in our absence with both the gas man, who came to fill the tank on Tuesday, and the gardener, who appeared over the weekend to try to impose some order to the grass around LCDDB. There was, though, some confusion with the latter, who seemed to get the impression from Susan that she and Douglas were Stephen’s parents. It didn’t help, either, that when she tried to clear up the misunderstanding she confused the words for sister-in-law and mother-in-law, thus leaving the man still thinking she belonged to an older generation. I suppose the bright side is that he must have gone home telling everyone how good Susan looked for her age.

That was as nothing, however, to the confusion she caused in Iper when shopping for our return when the array of cold cuts on offer caused her some bewilderment. A very nice lady came to her assistance, losing her place in the queue in the process, and guided her through the choices available. She must, though, have wondered what she’d let herself in for when Susan, on telling her that she wasn’t fond of ciauscolo (a soft salame particular to Le Marche), said that she preferred a hard sausage. Oooo, matron.

When we arrived back early on Friday afternoon it was to find the house as we had left it and lunch waiting for us on the table – which is yet another advantage of having house-sitters, pre-emptying the need to stop off for a loaf of bread and a pint of milk on the way home. In order to reacclimatize ourselves and to treat Douglas and Susan, we introduced them to Forneria Totò (well, it had been almost two weeks since our last visit). They were suitably impressed with the aperitivo and pizza, not to mention the apple tart with ginger pastry that we took home for desert in front of the tele. There are some home comforts with which even the best of holidays can’t compete.

It was back to work for me yesterday as Lorella came for her lesson, and we even found time to do some work in between gossiping about my various birthday excursions. Still, as we were talking in English, it’s all grist to the mill. Today, following a last minute invite by Stephen, Marco and Maddalena joined us for lunch to hear about the holiday and share a plate of pasta. This was very satisfying for many reasons, not least of which was showing that we can sit six people round our new dining table without fear of clashing elbows.

Which is about it for this edition, except to offer an apology to the Italian postal system. Those of you who have been with us for some time will know that our dealings with Poste Italiane has not been without its problems. However, just before we went on holiday they defied our expectations when, on checking our post box in town we found a belated birthday card addressed to me. Actually, when I say addressed, I am using the term somewhat loosely, as I’m not convinced that ‘Nice young Englishman, La Casa dei Due Baffi, Monte San Pietrangeli’ is an internationally recognized nomenclature. Still, as the card in question was from our dear friend, Ann, well known for her idiosyncratic approach to life, the only real surprise was that she had managed to get it so accurate.