Diamond Geezer

18th April 2021

This week got off to a good, if unexciting depending on how you look at these things, start when a fruitful weekend provided enough material for Stephen to take the six contenitori to Emotest so they could complete the analysis for the doctor. When he came home he was particularly pleased with himself, not with a job well done though that was part of it, but with finding the exit from the car park at the centre.

If he had just found the exit, you might quite justifiably be asking, how did you get out of the car park on your other visits? By using the entrance, unaware that there was an alternative and ignoring the no exit signs and simply following all those others using it because why would an Italian driver adhere to the rules of the road. As to how he found it, with it being Monday morning the place was unsurprisingly busy for the start of the working week and he had to park in part of the car park that was behind the building and where there was a sign saying Exit – because, again, why would you put the sign other than actually where you could see the exit itself?

This discovery had two benefits. Firstly, rather than having to manoeuvre a challenging left hand turn against incoming traffic before veering sharp right onto the main road, the exit took you onto a side street the leads up to the main road where you can make a basic right turn. Simple. The other benefit was that when Stephen returned the following afternoon to collect the envelopes containing the results, Emotest was so busy both the car park and the overflow car park were full (the latter partly due to the large tent complete with seating for people to shelter in during inclement weather occupying half of it) he was able to drive out of the exit and park on the wide grass verge on the side road. As for the results themselves, all will be revealed when we make an appointment and take them to the doctor; Stephen did open his but was unable to make any sense of them, not being a qualified GP.

Other than collecting the results, Tuesday also saw the fire extinguisher man come for his biannual check. Our brace of extinguishers passed, though how thorough the test was is debatable as he was off again in less than five minutes. He did say that next time they would be due for replacement as they would be two years old. Stephen was also able to play with his new toy that had arrived that morning, a mini hand chainsaw. If, like me, you did not know such a thing existed, I will firstly set your mind at rest; it is not a chainsaw to chop off little hands, rather a mini saw to hold in one hand to cut through little things. In our case, Stephen spent a happy half hour or so cutting up the branches from the cherry trees into kindling for next winter – half an hour because that was the length of time he could manage before his hand started pulsating involuntarily in sync with the machine.

Once his hand had returned to normal the did a spot more chopping the next day, which made up somewhat for a fruitless trip to Civitanova for fabric to use in making an order of boots. It would be in at the end of the week, he was told, but by the time Friday came round we had other fish to fry, or to roll up in nori to be more accurate.

Saturday was Stephen’s birthday, and a significant one with a 0 somewhere in the mix, but zona arancione still being in ascendance put paid to any thoughts of going out for a slap up meal. What to do instead was the quandary, which Sigma/Coal was able to solve. For a month or so you have been able to order sushi from an extensive selection detailed on flyers and a folder on the customer services desk (i.e. the little kiosk affair next to the check out where the fearsome cashier does various administrative tasks when not ringing up the till), the cut off being Friday at 1 pm for collection on Saturday. Stephen said that we should try it, both to give it a go and in the absence of dining opportunities it was something a bit different to mark the occasion.

We duly ordered two selections, collected them mid-morning and enjoyed them together with a bottle of something fizzy while watching a mindlessly entertaining film on Netflix. I’m happy to say that while the film may have been pleasantly forgettable, the sushi was, if not memorable, certainly of a very good standard. We will definitely treat ourselves again.

So how else did Stephen pass his day, other than quietly? He started off by opening his cards (none, I am ashamed to say, from his nearest and dearest for despite ordering them from Moonpig for immediate posting a month in advance his cards had not arrived for his birthday, probably due to the fact when I checked that the company had not applied an international rate, just a domestic one – what is the world coming to when you cannot trust even an international conglomerate to get things right…), the various presents that Harry and Bella had raided their piggy banks to buy as well as an age inappropriate cushion from his sisters that when he unwrapped it scattered foil confetti all over the breakfast table and Harry, who was hanging around to see if anything good was coming his way. He is still shedding silver stars when he shakes himself. Stephen then frittered away a few hours with pottering in the garden and lounging around in the house before we headed to Marco and Maddalena’s for present opening, a small one for the tonsils, and, as a particular treat, a couple of pieces of freshly made pizza to sample the batch that Maddalena was taking later when they went to her parents for dinner.

All in all, then, a most pleasant day and not a bad way to mark an occasion that previously Stephen said had been cancelled – which is just as well, as that seems to have been the attitude that Moonpig took to it as well.