Size really does matter

16th April 2023

After narrowly escaping being drawn into a world of crime, vice and loose women (what a dreadful thought, especially the latter), when the true nature of San Severo was revealed to us, we have had a reassuringly unexciting week, even if the weather has again been a tad unpredictable.

Fortunately, there was no repeat of last Sunday’s hailstorm, though our belief that it broke more or less over our heads was confirmed when it was my turn for a haircut on Friday. Poor Rocco told me that he had had to cancel his lesson on Wednesday as he had to take his TV projector to Pesaro (go to Civitanova and take a left turn up the autostrada, a round trip of some three and a half hours) as the lightning snuck through his roof (to which it was attached) and did for it. On the plus side, the final vestiges of that particular bout of wet weather morphing into a sunnier period on Monday morning gave us a quite spectacular rainbow, arcing over the trees and coming to earth in the field behind the house. At least that is what it seemed like from our perspective, it’s just a shame we were too busy to get the spade out and start digging.

It's just as well the sun came out as, being Easter Monday, or Pasquetta if you prefer, Bastianelli, the vineyard over the way, was holding another picnic amongst the vines day, so rain would not really have added to the desired ambience. In the event, judging by the number of cars we could see, it was not only well attended but seemed to last way past the time when all the sandwiches might reasonably have been polished off, an observation backed up when Bertrando, who popped in there sometime in the evening, said 5,000 bottles of wine had been sold.

With some factories being slow to restart, Stephen made the most of the temporary change to dry weather, when given permission part way through Tuesday afternoon to work from home, took it as cue to cut the grass. He made up for that time, however, when he didn’t make it back on Friday till almost 7.30. I was starting to worry that I might have to take responsibility for the pizzas, but fortunately the online meeting with a new client finished in time for him dash in and zhuzh them up with a tin of tuna and a few olives, working his usual magic.

I thought that was going to be it, until Stephen suggested we go out for aperitivo at Totò, his treat, on Saturday night. It would be something to do over the weekend, and he could buy some nice biscuits to take to work tomorrow morning, for his birthday. On the way we stopped at the Nero Giardini outlet, just up the road by their factory, as I suggested I might find a much-needed new pair of jeans there. To say that the outlet is only a couple of minutes away, I think I can count the number of times we’ve called in on the fingers of one hand, while the number of items we have bought can be counted on the fingers of none.

It looked very much like the duck was not going to be broken. Whilst they had a couple of styles that we (by which I mean my personal shopper) liked, their sizing policy was against us. The 52 was a little too baggy and the waist a little too slack. No problem, a size 50 should be just right, except there were none left. The next one down was 49 which, unsurprisingly, was uncomfortably tight. There are downsides to following doctor’s orders and achieving an enviously svelte silhouette. If I had still been husky, they would have had my size.

I did not, however, come away empty-handed, very much the opposite, in fact. With holidays in mind, I bought a pair of tailored grey pinstriped shorts, in which I am assured I will look quite the thing when they are paired with a white linen shirt, and a pair of loose-fitting blue cotton summer trousers, just right for lounging with a spritz. And all was not quite lost on the jeans front, either, for my eagle-eyed stylist managed to track down a pair of denim trousers, which they did have in a 50, and which fitted perfectly. What, I hear you cry, is the difference between jeans and denim trousers, to which the answer is simple. Jeans are cut and styled like jeans, whereas denim trousers are trousers made from denim. Capisci?

As for today, there is only one thing to say: rain, and more rain, and then some more, and two very wet dogs as well as two soaking wet coats from our morning and lunchtime battles against the elements, and this time without a rainbow to lift the spirits. One can’t help thinking that someone somewhere is taking the notion of April showers to a ridiculous degree.